Chemical Euphoria

Am I young and wreckless? I'm at a point where I don't deny the fact that I am a drug user, but that doesn't make me an addict, a junky, whatever.

I have my life in check. Some people like to enjoy a drink or two... I prefer other vices.

A friend of mine died of an overdose about a month ago, and since then i've been careful, generally sticking to things I know I won't die from I guess.

Why is everyone so afraid of death?

Am I just young and wreckless?

I suppose I havn't posted for a while, probably because i've been too busy enjoying being alive. Prom night was lonely, but at least I had some friends around me. My exams went without a problem and I have finally graduated. I never have to walk through the halls of my school again and i'm happy about that. At commencement I saw everyone in my grade, and realized I probably would never speak to most of them again. The feeling was neither good nor bad.

Summer break is in full swing.

Tomorrow night is prom night. I look forward to be out of control.

I don't care anymore.

I'm so close to escaping... Eight more days in this high school until exams. Regardless of how close I am, the pain isn't easing away at all. I see the plans people are making without me... Everyone's having fun except me.

I just want to break something, I want to scream.

I hate my life.

Yet another Sunday night. I accepted the offer from my university of choice yesterday... Wait day before yesterday (since technically it's Monday.

I don't really want to go to school tomorrow (as always).

Nothing else to talk about.

A friend of mine, someone I actually knew passed away today. He just didn't wake up. Who the fuck doesn't wake up at our age? It's so fucked up. He wasn't sick, he wasn't old and yet they say he died of natural causes... What the fuck is natural about that?

Yet another Monday at my small, snobby prep-school.

Nothing spectacularly new happened today, just the same old high school bullshit. The people I used to hang out with me are cold and distant... The people I hang out with now are people I am cold and distant towards. They're just people to get high/drunk with. I'd rather hang out with people I know don't care about me all that much and are only around me because we smoke up together than with false friends.

17 more days of high school.

This week won't be anything new I think.

So I've been accepted to my first choice of the universities I applied to, and have only 18 more days left in this hell-hole of a high school (until exams at least). Things are going pretty well.

My stupid incident on Saturday has a whole bunch of people not talking to me, but that's fine, it doesn't matter. Shit happens I guess, and I will never see most of these people again.

I can taste the freedom already, I can't wait for this year to finish and to leave my pathetic high school.

I can't wait to meet new people and forget all about the sad excuses for human beings that surrounded me in the past.

So i got piss drunk at a non-drinking party on Saturday and got kicked out... Whole bunch of people are mad at me.

Whatever, 19 more days in this high school.

Just gonna blaze and take it easy.

I got accepted to my first preference university, most people havn't heard back from this place yet. It makes me feel incredibly intelligent.

Highschool is still lame though.